March 2012
February 2012
Self Absorption at Discount Prices.: Breaking Up... →
I have a folder full of essays with good lines that go nowhere. Here is their story as told by Dave Horwitz, who happens to be funnier than me.
theidiotking:
Let me get all Inception on you with a post within a post. I was just writing a story about something that really happened to me, after scrapping an essay about a general thing I was trying to dissect. The original title was “Rough Break:...
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Nope.
I finally had the courage to watch (well, kind of watch) the reading I did a couple weeks ago.
Here’s a list of things I thought while catching five seconds* of myself giving a reading:
1. STOP MOVING.
2. Oh, bad outfit choice.
3. STOP MOVING!
4. WHY AM I MOVING SO MUCH?
5. Do I have a mental disorder? So much moving!
6. I sound like a valley girl.
7. Stop moving, stop moving, stop...
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I Wrote This for Stuck Listening.
My friend/coworker Chris and I have so many discussions about music while we’re supposed to be working that we started a review site. We’re assuming we’re going to have way different viewpoints about the same albums (this has proven thus far to be correct) so basically, it’s a constant argument. Visit. Enjoy. But meanwhile, here’s my first review:
Tennis: Young &...
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Bummer
writinginbed:
Must be a bad sign that I feel surprised when I see or hear a grown man publicly say something nice to a woman.
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cosmo tip #143
expertcosmotips:
before going down on your man coat the inside of your mouth with nail polish
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Now What?
Chris: “I’m en route to get a considerable amount of hair cut off. A lot of it. I figured you’ll freak out more than most everyone else.”
Me: “Every dude just wants to be Matthew Fox.”
Chris: “I don’t know who that is.”
Me: “The guy from Lost.”
Chris: “…”
Me: “I’m making you a Things You Need To...
4 tags
I say 'vis-à-vis' in this.
“There’s no structure,” my co-worker tells me, vis-à-vis Portlandia, as he eats an expired burrito bowl from Trader Joes and I have coffee and popcorn, which is now known as my ‘usual.’
“There’s structure,” I say, and we have an unspoken staring contest for a second, which is his way of saying I’m crazy. “The structure is that there’s no set structure.” He wins the contest.
“See,” he shakes...
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Oh, hi.
Scene: At a bar, Tiffany’s friend from work walks over to say hi.
Tiffany: “Alex, this is my friend, Stephanie.”
Me: “Hi, nice to meet you.”
Alex: “Oh, we’ve met before, yeah.”
Me: “…”
Alex: “At Christina and Jamie’s?
Me: “…”
Alex: They had a party? Last year? December? You were wearing a blue...