Extensive Vamping

Your Girlfriend’s Car

My coworkers have been taking turns driving when we go out to lunch, and I don’t want to be that asshole who never drives, so I cleaned out my car today for the first time in like, a year. Here’s a little of what I found out about myself:

1. I collect business cards for restaurants I don’t remember going to ever. Though I apparently liked them?

2. I quite enjoy Starbucks.

3. And Splenda.

4. Despite the Handi-wipes I use, I am not particularly good at keeping my car organized. It looks counter-intuitive. 

5. I am fond of water, but I have no particular brand preference.

6. I am all about granola bars.

7. I used to make a lot of mix tapes with cute names like, “My Stupid iPod Stopped Working.” and “Seventeen Songs That Don’t Make Me Hate Life.”

8. I own forty-five different pairs of black flats.

9. Doesn’t everyone have an emergency pair of black heels in their backseat?

10. I lovvveeeee headbands but can’t wear them for longer than four hours at a time.