Extensive Vamping

I say ‘vis-à-vis’ in this.

“There’s no structure,” my co-worker tells me, vis-à-vis Portlandia, as he eats an expired burrito bowl from Trader Joes and I have coffee and popcorn, which is now known as my ‘usual.’

“There’s structure,” I say, and we have an unspoken staring contest for a second, which is his way of saying I’m crazy. “The structure is that there’s no set structure.” He wins the contest.

“See,” he shakes his head and scrunches up his face and I can’t tell at first if it’s from this burrito bowl that expired about six days ago or from my comment. “You’re doing that thing where you get all meta. I can’t follow.” The comment. “Plus,” he takes a big breath like he doesn’t know if he’s going to offend me, in my plaid, in my boots, with my feathered headband and oversized glasses, “I feel like I can’t watch too many of those in a row? Like if I watched more than two they would depress me.”

I’m silent for a moment, but I nod, I understand, and then say, quietly, as to not offend my coworker in his own plaid and boots, “I feel like I watch the show and I’m in on some inside joke with Portlandia where I think they’re making fun of my friends? …But I think they’re really making fun of me.”